


Bi the way

by stillflying



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, bi!Schneider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillflying/pseuds/stillflying
Summary: Schneider is... not straight.





	Bi the way

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is pre-Avery, or in an Averyless AU, whichever you prefer. I’ve headcanoned Schneider as bi since season 1, and I feel like the show kind of jokes/flirts with the idea of him being into guys, while also presenting him as a very Straight™ guy who only considers himself to be a straight ally, so I guess I wanted to write a fic that kind of consolidates these two contrasting ideas.

They had worked out a system.

Elena was studying in Schneider’s apartment for some peace and quiet away from her family, and Schneider was “supervising”, aka sitting in the next room so as to not distract her, passing the time by researching whatever weird hipster rich guy fad he was into at the moment.  Every hour, they’d break for 20 minutes of video games before going back to their respective tasks.  They’d been working this routine for several days now, and so far it was going well: Elena was making lots of progress with her studies, and Schneider had become a veritable expert on the detoxing properties of activated charcoal.

Schneider’s phone alarm sounded, indicating that it was time for a break, and he called “hour’s up!”

“Just a minute!” Elena shouted back from the next room.

Schneider sighed.  She could never finish on the dot, she always had to take a couple of extra minutes to finish reading a page or writing a flashcard, which he supposed was good for her education, but it cut into valuable gaming time.  “Hurry up!” he responded, and opened up an app on his phone to give himself something constructive to do while he waited.

A few moments later, Elena entered the lounge, where Schneider was waiting for her on the couch.  “What are you doing?” she asked curiously.

“I’m just on Tinder.”

“Are you swiping for my mom again?” Elena asked, walking over to check his phone.  “Because she specifically told you to not do that.”  Schneider had come under fire recently for attempting to find Penelope a date online.  What he had viewed as a selfless act of friendship, she’d argued was “unsolicited” and “proof that you don’t know my type at all”.  He’d thought the guy with the Iron Man suit replica was awesome, but if she wanted to miss out on that, that was her business.

“No, I’m swiping for me,” Schneider reassured her.

Elena narrowed her eyes as she caught sight of his phone screen.  “Then why can I see a guy’s abs?”

Schneider rolled his eyes.  “I know, it’s so annoying when they post their abs but not their face, right?”

“No, I mean, why are _you_ swiping for _guys_?” Elena asked, joining him on the couch.

“Oh.”  He offered up a small shrug.  “Mostly just to chat.  Sometimes we trade workout tips.”

“I don’t think that guy needs any tips from you,” Elena pointed out.

Schneider swiped left on ab-guy on principle.

“But even if he did, people don’t go on Tinder for workout tips, it’s a dating app.”  Elena’s eyes suddenly went wide.  “Are you _dating_ these guys?” she asked excitedly, practically bouncing in her seat.

“No!” Schneider laughed, as if the idea of dating people he’d been talking to on a dating app was utterly ridiculous.  “I told you, we just talk.  I never actually meet up with any of them.  Well, I met up with one guy, but only because I wanted to see his nunchucks – NOT a euphemism,” he quickly clarified, seeing Elena’s expression.  “And he was straight anyway, I found him on your mom’s account.”

Elena sat in thoughtful silence for a moment before speaking again.  “And are _you_ straight?” she pressed carefully.

“Of course I am,” Schneider insisted.  After a moment of hesitation, he clarified “I mean, there was some stuff in college, but that doesn’t count, everyone experiments in college.”

“But nothing since college?”

“Well, _some_ stuff since college, but that’s before I was sober, so that doesn’t count either.”

“But nothing since getting sober?”

“Nope.  Although, there was that one guy...”

“Oh my God!” Elena exclaimed.  “You’re bisexual!  Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m not _bisexual_ ,” Schneider scoffed.  “Have I been with guys in the past?  Sure.  Can tell when a guy’s attractive?  Absolutely.  Am I impressed by a good pair of nunchucks?  Undoubtedly–”

Elena winced.  “I’m sorry, but there’s no way you can talk about a guy’s nunchucks without it sounding weird.”

“It’s a regrettable word,” Schneider agreed.  “But it doesn’t mean I’m bisexual.”

“...Look,” Elena said, in a far gentler tone than Schneider was used to hearing from her.  “I’m not saying you _have_ to identify as bisexual or anything.  Just that if you _are_ attracted to men as well as women, that’s okay.  There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it, Elena, I’m as woke as they come,” Schneider said, and Elena resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his word choice.  “It’s just that most of my experiences were back before I got sober, so I don’t exactly have the best associations.  And it’s not like I grew up in the most accepting household – you should have heard my father when I told him I wanted to be a professional tap dancer.  No more Singin’ in the Rain for me, I can tell you that.  I can’t even imagine how he would have reacted if I’d said the word bisexual in front of him.  So, I don’t know...”  He paused for a moment, and then finally admitted what he’d been thinking the whole time: “maybe I _know_ there’s nothing wrong with it, but I still kind of _feel_ like there is.”

He didn’t know why he was telling Elena all of this.  He usually saved these kinds of heart-to-hearts for Penelope, but then, Elena was probably the better one to talk to about this particular topic.  As accepting as he was sure Penelope would be, he didn’t think she’d be much use giving advice, whereas Elena was a walking textbook when it came to these things.  Right now, though, she was being uncharacteristically quiet.  No LGBTQ+ history lessons, no busting out the pride flags, no informing him when the next parade was.  Instead, she seemed to be thoroughly considering everything he’d told her.  He wasn’t used to people taking the things he said seriously, and couldn’t help but feel like he was being scrutinised under a microscope.  Eventually, just as he was becoming nervous, Elena spoke again.

“I understand if you’re hesitant to put a label on yourself,” she said, the same careful tone as before, “and you don’t even have to do that part.  But I promise you, it gets a lot better when you start being honest with yourself.  In whatever way that means to you.  And you don’t have to involve me while you figure things out, it’s your business.  But if you want to talk about it, you know I’m here for you.”

Schneider felt himself relax.  He didn’t know how he’d expected her to react, but she wasn’t pressuring him or putting any kinds of expectations on him, and that was a relief.  “Thanks,” he said, offering up a smile.  “I’ll definitely start thinking about it.”  And he had a lot to think about.  It wasn’t actually something he’d considered in a serious capacity before – he knew he was predominantly interested in women, so the fact that he found men attractive too had never really seemed to matter, because it was never really at the forefront.  He was content to just go through life as a straight man who occasionally thought about guys, often in a not-so-straight way.  Now that he thought about it, he was starting to realise that he’d probably been in denial for a long time.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Elena’s phone buzzing.  She read her messages and then stood from the couch.  “Come on,” she said, “Abuelita’s putting out dinner.”

Schneider was surprised that Elena was willing to drop the subject so quickly, but glad that she was giving him the space to work through it at his own pace, and even gladder to hear that dinner was ready.  “Ooh, I hope it’s _ropa vieja_ ,” he said, massively over pronouncing the words.  He stood too, and followed Elena out the door, deciding that contemplating his sexuality could definitely wait until after dinner.

***

A few days later, when Schneider burst into their apartment to ask Elena if being bisexual and bilingual meant he was bi-bi, she didn’t even try to tell him that he definitely wasn’t bilingual.


End file.
